Tuesday, November 29, 2011

10 Things My Parents Told Me When I Was Younger That I’ll Never Forget




1. I before E except after C.

2. Always say “please” and “thank you.”

3. Never order pasta at a diner.

4. You have to go to college; it’s the law.

5. Get that crap out of my shopping cart.

6. Go to bed; “The Sopranos” is on.

7. We have a two-hour car ride ahead of us. If you’re not quiet, Santa won’t bring you presents.

8. Why is there toothpaste on the toilet seat?

9. Don’t lie to me. I know you touched the computer because now it’s not working.

10. I killed the mailman. Forget that I told you this. Tell no one.

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