House of Anubis Returns for a Redundant New Chapter

Season 3 promises just as much recycled storytelling, plot holes, and bad acting as ever before!

Sibuna!

   It's back! It's back! It's back! America's favorite terrible teen show is back for a third season and I couldn't be more excited! When the theme music started I couldn't help but have a big smile on my face. "House of Anubis: The Reawakening" began tonight and there were a lot of questions fans have had to deal with over the 10 month (!) hiatus. Season 2 ended in a way that tied up a lot of loose ends, but behind the scenes drama is what had fans wondering what lies ahead for the show. The "actress" who plays Nina has decided not to return to the series. Her integral role as 'The Chosen One' had me wondering how they'd explain her absence. The answer? They didn't. At least not yet.
  The key mystery in the premiere wisely revolves around Nina. This is a great way to play with the fragile, preteen audience's psyches. Honestly, if they had answered where she was in the first 5 minutes, I might have just tuned out. But the story plays across the entire hour, featuring a very suspenseful scene in the first 10 minutes where Headmaster Sweet and a grief-stricken looking Trudy enter to make an announcement. Readers, I was afraid Nina would be dead. But instead, Mr. Sweet announces Nina won't be returning to school...and says nothing else. There's an air of secrecy around this announcement and Fabian seems the only one concerned about Nina's whereabouts. Amber seems mildly concerned at first, but the next day is her birthday and this subplot consumes all of her attention. Amber being more concerned about birthday presents than her best friend is either an in character choice or some terrible writing. You decide.

Such a Tease

      

     “I want to rub my naked breasts all over your face,” she whispered into my ear.

     “Wow, I’m flattered, but no thank you,” I replied.

      This middle-aged stripper was being incredibly forward.

     “I want to touch you and feel you,” she said in broken English through the gaps in her teeth, “I’m not just saying this, I like you.”

      “No thank you,” I said, trying to get her to leave me alone. All I wanted was to have a relaxing night out, but obviously I had done too good a job looking sexy that night; the strippers were all over me.

Point One Sibuna! Analyzing "House of Anubis" Season 2

       I’m going through a serious “House of Anubis” withdrawal right now. For those of you who do not know what “House of Anubis” is, and I don’t expect that many of you do, I suggest you Google it. Since January, I’ve had to explain “House of Anubis” to many people and my reason for watching it, and I’ve grown tired of doing this so I will keep the explanations brief. It’s a Nickelodeon soap opera centering on a group of high school aged students in an English boarding school who solve ancient Egyptian mysteries inside of the house they live in. So that’s what it is and the reason I watched it is because Stephanie Chan made me and everyone always does what she tells them to do.

      My sense of withdrawal has nothing to do with the quality of the show. Let me make this perfectly clear: it is awful. It is low budget, the characters are two-dimensional, the acting is embarrassingly bad, it has glaring plot holes, and none of it is as charming or as clever as it wants to be. The “Egyptian” mythology the show bases itself around never goes any deeper than what one can learn from a Wikipedia article and the mystery cliches are topped off with a revolving bookshelf. Yet there is something about it, other than Stephanie Chan, which kept me watching every weekday for 8 weeks.