Thursday, January 3, 2013

House of Anubis Returns for a Redundant New Chapter

Season 3 promises just as much recycled storytelling, plot holes, and bad acting as ever before!

Sibuna!

   It's back! It's back! It's back! America's favorite terrible teen show is back for a third season and I couldn't be more excited! When the theme music started I couldn't help but have a big smile on my face. "House of Anubis: The Reawakening" began tonight and there were a lot of questions fans have had to deal with over the 10 month (!) hiatus. Season 2 ended in a way that tied up a lot of loose ends, but behind the scenes drama is what had fans wondering what lies ahead for the show. The "actress" who plays Nina has decided not to return to the series. Her integral role as 'The Chosen One' had me wondering how they'd explain her absence. The answer? They didn't. At least not yet.
  The key mystery in the premiere wisely revolves around Nina. This is a great way to play with the fragile, preteen audience's psyches. Honestly, if they had answered where she was in the first 5 minutes, I might have just tuned out. But the story plays across the entire hour, featuring a very suspenseful scene in the first 10 minutes where Headmaster Sweet and a grief-stricken looking Trudy enter to make an announcement. Readers, I was afraid Nina would be dead. But instead, Mr. Sweet announces Nina won't be returning to school...and says nothing else. There's an air of secrecy around this announcement and Fabian seems the only one concerned about Nina's whereabouts. Amber seems mildly concerned at first, but the next day is her birthday and this subplot consumes all of her attention. Amber being more concerned about birthday presents than her best friend is either an in character choice or some terrible writing. You decide.
   But Fabian doesn't take the news that Nina won't be back lightly. He's barely heard from her all summer and decides to do some sleuthing. He gets an email from Nina about halfway through the premiere, but it turns out the message is from Eddie PRETENDING to be Nina. Weird, right? And it gets even weirder. Fabian and Patricia search through Eddies things for answers and they find NINA'S NECKLACE. A quick glance at Eddie's computer confirms that he and Nina had been emailing each other all summer long. At the end of the premiere, Fabian confronts Eddie, believing he and Nina were having a summer romance in America. The truth is some vague talk about how Eddie (the Osirian) needs to be kept apart from Nina (the Chosen One). This contradicts the entire mythology of the show which last season stressed the point that the two had to protect each other. Whatevs. Anyway, Eddie has a note for Fabian from Nina that explains everything. He opens the note and....the episode ends.
   The big season-long mystery hasn't been fully revealed yet, but we get a few hints as to who our key players will be. Victor seems to be taking the forefront this year, with Corbierre at his side no doubt. There's a bunch of vague hints: a specific date, a secret meet up, etc that I'm sure will payoff later but probably not because this series has a history of losing interest with storylines rather quickly. That being said, this premiere seems to suggest a more focused season lies ahead for us. The promos beat us over the head with the fact that the stakes are higher and the world (yes, the entire world) is in danger this season. Then again, a lot of this looks like it'll be a rehash of last year's arc. A door in the house that's "always locked" has me worried there'll be ANOTHER basement with similar mysteries as last season. A new blonde teacher is introduced...and she appears to be a villain (Sound familiar? No? Oh that's just because you're a normal person who doesn't watch this crap show. Congratulations on reading so much of this review!) Characters being referred to as "The Seeker" and "The Keeper" are reminiscent of last season's "The Collector." But I will give the show props for the surprise identity of "The Seeker." It's nice to know they're not just plopping in some new outside character and expecting me to care about him/her.
    Speaking of new characters I don't really have much to say about the new girl, KT. She's obviously going to have a major role this season since she's basically Nina's replacement. She's American, has a sick grandparent, and has a secret key that she doesn't know what to do with. At one point, Amber says "I guess KT really is replacing Nina." Yeah, gotta love the subtle dialogue.
   There's a lot more to this premiere that I won't bother talking about in detail: Eddie and Patricia broke up, there's already a love triangle between them and KT, another new main character, and the secrecy surrounding Eddie's family tree.
     I can't stress how happy I am this show is back. The premiere really did a great job of capturing that back to school feeling and when it was over I found myself wanting more. Whoever does the promos for this show deserves a fucking Emmy. The "coming up this season..." spot almost gave me a heart attack. One of the students is working with Victor?!? What's that cryogenically frozen robot?!? Is that what needs to be "reawakened"?!? Who throws orange juice in KT's face?!? Will Corbierre ever find love?!? I'll probably be writing about the show every week because I need something to fill the void when Steph and Tootsie leave and no one else blogs about Anubis, but that's probably because most of its viewers are too young to have a blog or go on the internet. Sibuna!

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