Let's Read a Book

   

         I’m about to start reading Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov. I’m sure you’ve never heard of it. It is only one of the finest, if not tantalizing and controversial, literary works of the 20^th century. It’s European, and from the ‘50s, so yeah, it’s pretty awesome.

      You’re probably too busy playing Words with Friends or napping to spend quality time with such fine literature. Your idea of reading is skimming over your Twitter and Facebook feeds. Well, unlike you, I spend hours pouring over books that you’ve never even heard of. Some of them are difficult reads, but that doesn’t stop me. I’m really well read and I have an amazing vocabulary. I was reading Tolstoy when I was seven.

       Now, if you don’t mind I need to get to my reading.

       Ok, here we go, Chapter 1.

      “Lolita, light of my life, fire of my loins...”

       Oh, my arm is itchy. Gotta scratch it. Ok, there we go. That’s better. Now back to reading.

        “...loins. My sin, my soul.”

         Wait. Do you hear that beeping? Is that the fire alarm? What is that? I can’t read with that beeping going....oh, there, I think it stopped. Hold on, yea, it stopped.

       “Lo-lee-ta: the tip of the tongue taking a trip of three steps down the palate to tap, at three, on the teeth. Lo. Lee. Ta.”

         Ta. Ta. Ta. Tea. Hmmm, tea would be nice right now. A hot mug of tea with a good book sounds perfect. Let’s see, I have green tea with mint or peach tee. Mint sounds good, but I just had that yesterday. Maybe I should switch it up a bit. No, but then that means I have to get up off the bed to make tea and I’m really tired. No tea.

         “She was Lo, plain Lo, in the morning, standing four feet ten in one sock.”

         Should I change my socks? I’ve had them all day and they’re a little sweaty. But then if I change them that means I’ll have one less clean pair of socks so then I’ll have to do laundry sooner. I guess I can always do laundry on Friday afternoon, but who wants to deal with laundry on a Friday? Maybe I should just keep them on for now. But they’re so sweaty.... well, maybe they aren’t.

         “She was Lola in slacks. She was Dolly at school...”

          Dolly. Dolly’s cookies from high school. Cookies and tea. Maybe I should make a cup of tea. Where’d I put my mug? It’s usually on the desk...oh, I remember it’s in the bathroom from when I washed it earlier. Hold on one second....

        Ok, tea is made. Gonna settle back on the bed with this amazing novel.

       “She was Dolores on the dotted line. But in my arms she was always Lolita....”

        Look at me, I’m such an intellectual. Drinking tea and reading. I’m so cool and smart.

         “Did she...”

          You know, I’ve done enough reading for the day. I really need to check Twitter.