On Sunday
morning, millions of children awoke to find presents from Santa Claus piled
high beneath their Christmas trees. But for 11-year-old Billy Prescott, the
only thing beneath his tree was the floor of his family home in Faketown,
Connecticut.
“I don’t understand,”
said Prescott “I was good all year. I was sure Santa would come.”
The boy’s parents,
Roger and Helen Prescott, were equally baffled. “I helped Billy make cookies
for Santa this year and everything,” said Mrs. Prescott “We had fully prepared
for Mr. Claus’ arrival.”
“Look, something is
wrong here,” said Mr. Prescott, “Billy is 11 years old and this is the only
year that Santa hasn’t come. Something needs to be done about this.”
When reached
for comment, Mr. Claus defended his actions. “Little Billy Prescott has
everything!” said Claus, “His family is loaded, and there was nothing else to
give him.”
Claus’
claim is based on his observation of Billy over the past year. In that time
Billy has acquired the latest 3D virtual video games, an amusement park, his
own home, several cars that he is not able to drive, and a zoo.
“What
else was I supposed to get him?” asked Claus, “I’m only one person. The elves
and I tried to create several new toys for Billy but by the time we had
finished, Billy had already gotten them.”
The
Prescotts are not accepting this excuse. According to Billy, he had proceeded
with his Christmas preparations as he always had. “I made Santa a list and
everything,” said Billy “There were plenty of things I wanted this year.”
According
to Claus, Billy’s list was inappropriate. “The child asked for human slaves!”
said Claus “That goes against everything I believe in morally. Human slavery in
unacceptable, that’s why I use elves.”
The
Prescotts have decided to take legal action against Claus for his unwillingness
to fulfill their son’s Christmas wish.
“My son was on
the Nice List,” said Mrs. Prescott, “Isn’t is Santa’s job to give him what he
wants?”
In addition to acquiring
several slaves for Billy, the Prescotts are hoping to also have Claus
terminated. “The man is completely incompetent,” said Mr. Prescott “He needs to
know that if he doesn’t do his job there will be consequences.”
The
lawsuit places Claus in a very awkward position. He has held the same job
position for almost 2000 years now and was looking forward to a nice, quiet
retirement. “I’m only three years away from my pension,” said Claus, “I can’t
lose this job.”
Additionally, since Claus is without a successor in place, if he is
terminated the world will be forced to cancel Christmas, leaving little Billy
along with millions of other children around the world without the slaves they
had been hoping for all year.
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